Thailand

Written by: Michael Berkowitz

Night Lights of Patong Beach Introduction Some would describe Thailand as a frantic place, difficult to handle, but when we first arrived from Bali, (Kuta Beach to be precise), Thailand was a walk in the park. Well, for me at least, but not exactly for Joy. When I saw Joy's face filled with horror when she came out of her first public restroom in Thailand, I knew exactly what had happened! She had an encounter with "The Hole!" I warned her so many times about this and even told her to bring toilet paper or kleenex in her purse when ever we left the hotel. You see, in Thailand, as in most Asian countries, the restrooms are a little different than they are in the states. I will try to be as delicate as possible when explaining exactly what "The Hole" is. In the public restrooms, there are only holes for people to squat over. But don't worry ,there is also a place to put your feet. Then, instead of toilet paper, there is simply a hose or a tub full of water next to the hole to wash yourself with - of course I'm not speaking from experience. So, as you can imagine, not only do the restrooms smell horribly, but they are also always flooded. After this experience, Joy refused to go into any other restrooms except for the ones at the hotel.

Phuket We spent the first four nights and the last four nights of our Thailand adventure on the largest island, Phuket. We stayed right on crazy Patong Beach. There is so much to do here: scuba-dive, ride motorcycles, elephant trekking, dancing, bunjy-jumping, shopping, "Thai massaging," and excellent eating. Great Thai food! Our Harley transport If fact, I was quite surprised when Joy asked for a Thai dish for EVERY meal. I like Thai food, but not that much! I can't believe that she can handle all the spices. Before our trip, she never enjoyed spices, but now she craves them. I'm personally sick of it. It doesn't even agree with my stomach any more. Oh what I wouldn't do for a good old soy dog with no butter or oil!

Joy loves her Thai food!

Phuket has a crazy night-life with a major party scene. First of all, everywhere you look, you see a white man with Thai women! These women are hoping for the men to fall in love with them and take them back to their country. Basically they are all prostitutes! Joy and I went to a very interesting show one night - if you want details about it, you will have to email us and ask! Let's just say, we lost our appetite for the evening. These may look like beautiful Thai women, but . . . they are actually "lady-boys!" (men) We also went to a Thai-boxing match one night. The men literally beat the hell out of each other. There are also snake shows every night. We couldn't even believe what the "snake charmer" would allow the snake to do to him. He would actually allow poisonous snakes to bite his arms and head in front of everybody! What a guy would do for a buck just amazes us. A word of caution: If you ever go to a snake show in Thailand, never be a volunteer or sit in the front row! Trust me! Every night there are men on the streets holding exotic animals wanting you to pay him to take a picture with it. These animals include monkeys, elephants, snakes, and even bald eagles. Joy's practicing Ko Samui We both loved Ko Samui! The island had everything that Phuket had, but in MUCH more relaxed way. It doesn't have nearly as much tourism as Phuket. Unfortunately, just as we started settling in, a huge and powerful monsoon slammed the island! The streets were flooding, stores were shutting down, roads were being blocked, and quite frankly, it was getting dangerous. We made an easy executive decision to leave Ko Samui as soon as possible and head north to Bangkok. We were very lucky to get out on standby basis, because there were so many other people trying to leave as well. In fact, some of these people had been stranded on Ko Toa (a nearby island) for five days! It's amazing what $20 will do! We really want to come back to Ko Samui one day to do some more exploring, and definitely diving off the near-by islands. Joy's New Rabbi Bangkok . . . As Joy describes it, "The dirtiest place on earth - but a definite must see!" We met some people also escaping the Ko Samui monsoon on our flight. We split a cab with them and headed to a hotel that they had stayed at before in an area called Banglamphu. When we first arrived at the hotel and discovered that it was a backpackers' paradise, we figured that we would only stay for one night and then check into the Sheraton. Turns out, we had so much fun in this area and ended up staying for five nights! Believe it or not, we felt like we were in Israel, and not Thailand, because most of the backpackers were young Isralies! There was even a Chabad house directly across from the hotel. To Joy's disappointment, they didn't have matza ball soup. It was so funny when we walked in and heard the Thai waitresses say, "Shalom!" Despite all the pollution, crowds, and pure filth, Bangkok is full of many beautiful Buddhist temples. One afternoon we visited the Grand Palace. This place is huge! It contains the famous emerald Buddha - which we honestly hadn't heard of before. Joy got yelled at for trying to take a picture of it. It also, supposinly, as a gold roof on one of its temples. However, Joy and I took a close look (with a knife), and concluded that it is just glass, not gold. The beautiful Grand Palace One day we hired a private boat and took a tour of Bangkok's floating market. The floating market is when hundreds of Thai women in little boats paddle up to you trying to sell us all sorts of things (fans, beer, fruit, etc.) It was really interesting seeing how people live in little shacks along the river. There was so much color along the river, but seeing so much poverty made it less beautiful.

Remember . . . it's not real gold!

Bangkok has a variety of shops. From women selling things in little boats to fancy shops at the World Trade Center, we did it all! Pat Pong was my favorite. It is a night market in China Town where you can find the best deals. I think Joy's favorite shops were the facial salons. In summary, we loved Thailand. Neither one of us got sick, mugged, or successfully cheated on. We defiantly want to come back! River tour

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